In just a few sentences, this post humorously sums up what many people with ADHD describe as a life full of extremes. At first glance, this may seem like inconsistency. However, behind some of these contradictions lie mechanisms that are well known to be associated with attention deficit disorder, with or without hyperactivity.
ADHD is not simply an inability to concentrate. The problem relates more to the regulation of attention. A person may find it extremely difficult to start a task they perceive as repetitive, distant or unstimulating, yet remain absorbed for hours when a subject fascinates them or when a deadline creates sufficient pressure.
This is commonly referred to as ‘hyperfocus’. The term is widely used to describe this intense absorption, even though it is not in itself an official diagnostic criterion for ADHD. In this state, hours can pass without the person really realising it. Eating, sleeping or answering the phone become secondary.
Hence this puzzling impression: how can someone capable of working for fifteen hours almost without a break find it incredibly difficult the very next day to complete a twenty-minute task?
Because it is not necessarily a question of ability. It is the ability to apply that ability at the right moment that can be the problem.
We see the same paradox in social interactions. A message arrives and a reply goes out straight away. Another arrives at the wrong moment: ‘I’ll reply later.’ Then something else catches their attention. A few hours turn into two days. The more time passes, the more complicated replying can seem.
Seen from the outside, this can be interpreted as a lack of interest or indifference. For some people with ADHD, however, it is more a mixture of distraction, difficulty returning to an interrupted task, a poor sense of time and, at times, feeling overwhelmed.
The phrase ‘I love being on my own but I hate feeling lonely’ obviously goes beyond ADHD. Many people could relate to it. But it illustrates an essential distinction well: choosing solitude and enduring isolation are two completely different experiences.
As for ‘I overthink everything, but in reality I couldn’t care less’, this very effectively captures another frequently described sensation: a mind that keeps churning out thoughts, scenarios and associations even when its owner would simply like to move on.
However, we must be wary of a very contemporary phenomenon: turning every human behaviour into a symptom of ADHD. Procrastinating, forgetting to reply to a text message, working through the night on something you love, or needing to be alone are by no means sufficient to establish a diagnosis.
ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder diagnosed on the basis of a persistent set of symptoms, present since childhood, observable in various contexts and having a real impact on daily life.
This is precisely what makes this sort of publication interesting: it is not a diagnostic tool, but an extremely effective way of putting an experience into words.
And perhaps also of explaining why ADHD is sometimes so misunderstood. From the outside, we see someone who ‘can do it whenever they want’. From the inside, the challenge lies precisely in managing to want to do something, to start, to keep going or to stop at the moment one has decided to.
That is where the whole difference lies.
